Only You Can Make You Happy – Here is How
October 19th is officially ‘Evaluate Your Life’ day. It is a day that was dreamt up by wellcat.com in an effort to encourage people to take stock of what is going on in their lives and the lives of those around them. The whole concept got me thinking. Do we actually take stock of our lives enough? Should we really be waiting until New Year’s Eve to look back on the year and decide what we should be doing better the next year?
How often do you evaluate your life and your goals?
Each year, me and my husband take the idea of New Year’s resolutions a little differently. Each year we write a list of the things we are grateful we experienced the previous year and a list of goals for the year ahead. Not ‘resolutions’. Neither of us pretend that saying I will stop biting my nails, or he will stop smoking will actually take effect simply because we made a promise to ourselves on the 1st of the year. Neither do we profess that we will drink less, sleep more and laugh often. Because quite frankly that type of promise should be made to yourself each and every day, not simply on the 1st of the year.
Instead we write a list of goals. Things we hope to achieve in the coming year both personally, for our family and professionally.
We write and seal our lists in an envelope and hide it away, to be opened at specified times throughout the year. We set the dates on the calendar and set reminders. Every 3 months, we re-visit our ‘List of Goals’ and evaluate where we are and what we need to change. Because let’s face it, life gets in the way and every day issues arise that mean we have to shift our expectations and goals in life.
So I have thought long and hard about this. Do we evaluate our lives enough? What do we need to evaluate? How will it help us grow?
In that vain, I have attempted to write a step by step guide to help you look at your life and evaluate it. Not to be preachy and condescending, but in the hope that doing so will help others out there realise that your life can and will only be what you make it. If you don’t evaluate you can’t shift your expectations.
Questions you should ask yourself on Evaluate Your Life Day
1: What are your current Goals, Dreams and Nightmares?
Write them down. Often, with your worries and nightmares, writing them down allows you to figure out how you will tackle them. With your goals, it is widely believed that writing down your goals in life allows the universe to see that you are serious. Writing them down makes them real and allows you to work towards them with a purpose. No matter how silly, small or inconsequential they may feel now, write them down. All of them. You will feel better for it.
2:Are they Really important?
Take a look at them all one by one and rate them in order of importance. It will make you understand what your current priorities are in life. You can easily see if you need to shift your priorities or focus more on a different area of your life.
3: Are You Supported?
Take a look at the friends and family that surround you in your life. Do they build you up or tear you down? With each and every one of the goals you have set yourself, will the people that you surround yourself with help you achieve them or block your path? Nothing in life can be achieved alone. Structure, support and encouragement are needed. Are you being propelled forward in your life by those who love you, or being held back?
4: How Do you Define Yourself?
Who are you? What defines you? Your job? Your family? Do you allow your life to be defined by others. Finding out how you really view yourself will allow you to see why the people around you treat you the way they do.
5: How is your Love Life?
It might sound trivial to some, but even if you are single, are you happy single? If not, why? Not everyone needs to be in a relationship to be be happy, many people are happy being alone, but the most important word that needs to be focused on is happiness. If you are not happy in your love life, why? What can you do to change it? Don’t ask what someone else can do to change your happiness, your future is in your hands alone. So what do you need to feel happier?
6: When was the last time you had fun?
Life can be tough, and adulting can be less than fun sometimes. Responsibilities get in the way and life can tick by without you even realising. When was the last time you embraced your inner child? The last time you laughed so hard it hurt? When was the last time you did something for the sake of it, and not because it was planned or pre-determined? Life is too short, and being an adult does not mean you have to be so serious all the time. Act like a child, for just a day.
7: What mistakes have you made?
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone. No one is perfect. But understanding how those mistakes have brought you to where you are will help you realise that sometimes even mistakes can create surprises in life; helping you become the person you are and appreciating the life you have. What mistakes have you made and what are the lessons you have learnt from them?
8: Are you happy in your career?
Is the job you have the one you want? Can you change it? Do you want to change it? Most of us will spend 30% of our lives, almost a third of our natural lives, working. A third. That is a massive amount of your time on Earth. If you are not happy, why? Live to work or work to live? What are your biggest priorities?
9: Are you healthy?
The average global life expectancy is 71.1 years. If you plan on living until your 70’s, will your body make it there in one piece? Healthy living is not just for the extremists. Healthy = happy. What do you need to do in your life to feel healthier. Do you want to be healthier?
10: Are you Happy?
It may seem strange to ask this question last, but after reading all the other points, are you happy? If not, why not? Only you can make yourself happy. It is no one else’s job to make you happy. If you are not happy, change your life.
While writing this article, I did indeed practise what I am preaching. I wrote down all my answers and made a plan. Why? Because sometimes, it takes for us to be told it is ‘evaluate your life day’ to truly force ourselves to think about ourselves. In a world where we are so busy texting, tweeting and instagraming our perfect lives to those looking in from the outside, maybe it is time to start looking from the inside out.
