…and No it’s NOT Just a Headache!
I have suffered with migraines for years. In fact, I am pretty sure that the ‘headaches’ I had as a child were much more than just headaches. However, being a Military Brat, we didn’t moan when we were ill, we just got on with it. You suck it up and deal. But there is one problem with that. You can’t just deal with a migraine. It is not just a headache. It is a debilitating condition that so many people simply do not understand. After all, how can you possibly understand how it feels if you have never had one?
So in this article I am going to try and dispel some of the myths that surround the condition and in turn I hope to educate just a few people who don’t understand – because if you yourself do not suffer, I can almost guarantee you know someone who does.
What is a Migraine?
A ‘Migraine’ is a debilitating but incredibly common condition that affects close to 36 million men, women and children in the United States alone! That means almost 10% of the population suffer with a condition that almost no one understands!
Although it is not known if the condition is hereditary, if a parent suffers with the condition, there is a 40% chance their child will suffer at some point also. If both parents suffer, those odds rise to 90%.
Consider this. If your husband or wife suffers and you complain at them that it’s ‘just a headache‘ – how would you feel if one day your child is crying in a dark corner because of the pain they are feeling that you never took the time to understand.
Understanding migraines does not give you any power to change them or help them in any way… but understanding how and why they happen will allow you to be more compassionate towards a pain that your loved one is feeling but you can’t see.
Just because a pain is invisible to you, does not mean the pain does not exist.
Migraines and pain are a very personal thing, so I can only ever talk about how it feels for me.
I know when an attack is imminent. I feel it in my neck and shoulders for a few days first. I feel the muscles tense up and it doesn’t matter how I sit, how I stand or even how I walk, I will have pins and needles in my fingers, toes and face. I can feel the fog descending like a dark rain cloud looming overhead.
When I feel the beginning of a migraine I am desperate to stop it. I have my own tactics to try and stave off the pain (which 99% of the time is impossible) I will have a long bath to relax all my muscles and a pint of water to hydrate myself. This is probably because when I was little my parents always told me they were just headaches and most headaches are down to dehydration. It never helps. Never. But it is habit, and I am a control freak so I try my best to control the outcome! I should learn not to bother!
When I am in the middle of a full blown attack, I am not able to leave my room or my bed. With a cold wet flannel on my forehead and another wrapped around the back of my neck I will lay in a dark almost impossibly black room and cry. And cry. And cry. Because the pain is unreal and indescribable.
Then the sickness starts. The dizziness is so bad that when you move your head on the pillow it feels like you are laying on a water bed. The movement makes you sick. So you run to the bathroom to throw up and two things happen, the movement of running makes it worse because the soles of you feet feel like they are on fire. Your eyes are as close to shut as possible because you can’t bare the light and the smell of the bathroom, no matter how clean it is, will make you heave over and over again.
The heaving itself hurts your already exploding head and the pain makes you dizzy and sick again. It is a vicious painful indescribable circle.
For me, and I am not sure if this happens for everyone, but when I talk (which is not often but I try through soggy tears and gasps of pain) I am never really sure if I am talking fast or slow… I can’t judge it. I can’t judge distance and my spacial awareness is totally off. When I look at someone sat right next to me on the bed their heads are either massive or tiny. They could look like they are sitting at the other side of the room when they are sat right by my side. It is the most disorientating experience. It is scary.
This happens, to me, at least once a month – and that is a good month.
THIS is a migraine. THIS is not a headache. Pills do not help because it is not a headache.
The pain, is a real pain. And the worst of it is that no one understands.
When, just like magic and for no possible logical reason, the devil lets go of your nervous system and the migraine eases, you suddenly feel like your eyes are open. You can breath through your nose again (because for some reason in the middle of an attack your nose feels like it’s closed and you can’t get a full lung of air!). All of a sudden it’s just gone. You want to dance around the room and laugh and say ‘I honestly didn’t know if I could remember what it feels like NOT to have a migraine!‘
But then you still have the fog to deal with. The fog that is left behind makes you wonder if the past few days were real or a nightmare. You don’t remember anything exactly, it all seems hazy. You are never quite sure what day of the week it is or what you are supposed to be doing. During these days, it is NOT a good idea to operate heavy machinery – trust me on that one!
Migraines are a neurological condition. They are painful. They are not rare but they are highly misunderstood. If you know someone who suffers – be patient, be kind, because unless you have felt it, you can never really understand the pain they are going through.
