This Article is “Well Gay”
As a writer and secondary school English teacher I always take an active interest in our ever-changing language. Meanings of words evolve over time, such as ‘wicked’ and ‘sick’. The ones that need to be used with greater care today are the words ‘gay’ and ‘queer’. My lovely granny used to announce when she felt poorly: “Oh, I woke up this morning feeling a little queer”. It’s such an innocent and delightful phrase, but it made me and my brother snigger uncontrollably. When I tell this story to young teenagers it often elicits a strange response. Some students become uncomfortable and it never takes long to see the undercurrents of homophobia emerge from certain individuals.
I’ve always been interested in forms of prejudice, and why some people are so ignorant or arrogant to believe they are better than others. As a child I was shy and my dad’s job as a Methodist Minister seemed to make me a little different in the opinion of others. Wearing glasses also made me stand out in those days. I was the little primary school kid with a patch over one lens of his brown National Health specs.
As I grew up uneasily in a Christian home, questioning the (liberal) faith of my parents, I found many church-goers to be as prejudiced as anyone. Indeed, religions can become exclusive and judgemental. As a pupil in a London multicultural school I experienced racism first-hand, and as someone relatively academic, was often threatened by those who were less enthusiastic about reading than me.
Prince William recently visited the Hammersmith Academy where he spoke out against homophobia, and even of comforting victims and confronting those who make ill-judged comments. Homophobia is a stealth prejudice that needs to be cut out in schools and families, as forms of prejudice are instilled at an early age.
Keen to tackle the topic of homophobia, I began writing my fifth novel, Pica. I’d already dealt with racism and other forms of prejudice in my first novel, Myopia. Children and teenagers can be pretty cruel to each other. Many comments are thoughtless, and spontaneous, said to make others laugh, or so that they can look ‘cool’ (according to their perspective). Phobias need to be stamped out, particularly in our world where we are suspicious of immigrants and with the rise of ‘Islamophobia’. A phobia is a fear or a hatred. What is it that makes us want to fear or hate another group of human beings?
As a teacher I frequently dealt with homophobia. Particularly amongst boys, the fear of being labelled ‘gay’ becomes a tool for bullying and controlling others. For many it’s a questioning of their manhood and toughness. I’m pretty sure it’s a male instinct to want to appear strong, popular and ‘part of the gang’. Some boys resist this and they are the truly ‘strong’ ones, of course, as inner-strength is worth so much more than physical strength.
So being gay or a ‘poof’ is an insult in school. Some boys and girls are incredibly brave, and will be openly honest about who they really are. Those children are pretty heroic, because it isn’t easy. Things probably get better as you get into Sixth Form, but in those early teenage years, homophobia – I’m afraid to say – is still rife.
In class I question students’ use of the word ‘gay’ as a term of derision. Pupils typically respond to something they don’t like with the phrase, “Oh, that’s so gay”. If this usage is allowed unchallenged then it’s instilling a terrible assumption and association.
The topic is one that has bothered me for quite some time, which is probably the reason I spent a year weaving it into my next novel PICA, which is a novel for young adults. It is a story that blends fantasy and reality. In the novel, Luke is wrongly accused of being gay, when he befriends school pariah, Guy. Verbal, physical and cyber bullying ensues, with some of his male friends responding particularly harshly.
Luke could easily have given up on Guy and gone back to his so-called mates. He could have made some kind of public announcement to confirm his heterosexuality. But instead, he decides to go with it and see what happens to him, when even the teachers begin to treat him differently. He is unable to challenge them alone, and finds that the path of least resistance is the least stressful one.
Bullies usually want a reaction, so it’s best not to react in the way they are hoping.
I’ve worked with pupils in school, who ignore the jibes and continue to proudly be themselves. Being different to the mob, when done with dignity and pride, actually gains you respect – eventually. Not fighting back, and not reacting negatively are the ways forward, if you’re brave enough. And it takes a great deal of courage and conviction.
Homophobia is an insidious form of prejudice. It’s based on ignorance, hypocrisy and spite. The assumption that anyone has the right to say how we should feel or love is completely beyond me. The important thing for each individual is to be true to yourself – as long as you are not hurting others or being prejudiced in any different way.
I got through school without having to fight back. Playtime and lunch were the most difficult periods when you are exposed to angry pupils who don’t do rational thinking. However, playing football with friends usually took away the strife of those tense moments. But it was as a teacher that I really witnessed bullying and spoke to children whose spirits were crushed by throwaway comments. Seeing these broken souls had an immense effect on me, making me feel anger towards those thoughtless, arrogant folk who think nothing of sending someone else into a spiral of despair, just to make themselves feel better. Bullies lack empathy, which is why it’s important to teach children how to see things from another’s perspective.
The true heroes in society are those people who stand up for their convictions, and are willing to support others who need support. We should continue to challenge people who publicly display ignorance and hypocrisy in any form of prejudice, and make sure we are not also guilty of any subtle forms of homophobia. These little things matter.
(Note from The Editor: Many thanks to Jeff Gardiner for talking us through his experiences tackling Homophobia. For more information about Jeff, you can visit his website at www.jeffgardiner.com and his blog here or visit his author page here for more information.)
