8 Ways to Embrace the Sunshine and get your Sexy on…
You’re hot. And by that I don’t just mean you’ve been the last three months dieting to get your body bikini ready and are finally able to squeeze into your little cut-off shorts. I mean the temperature is rising and you, along with the rest of us, are getting hot, sticky, sweaty and irritable. So it’s no surprise that although Sex and Summer go together as beautifully as Big Sunglasses and Beach Babe Watching – a lot of you are still struggling to get yourself steamed up over summer sex.
Well, my scorching sisters, forget frozen fumblings in front of open fires in the wintertime… I’m here to tell you that you have been getting it all wrong. Where there is heat, there is happiness, and I’m going to show you why Summer Sex is hotter than any other time of year!
Water Lot of Fun
Swimming pool, jacuzzi, the ocean, waterfall, paddling pool… whatever floats your boat. There’s nothing sexier than being with your other half, wet limbs entwined and breaking the pool rules about heavy petting. Although it’s not always a great idea to go all the way in a hotel swimming pool – the water can create all sorts of friction issues and there’s always a kid in water wings getting in the way – but it’s a lovely little precursor to get you nice and wet (ahem) before your midday siesta back in your room. Plus those jacuzzi bubbles can hide all sorts of shenanigans!
Sweaty Bods
For all you clean freaks (yes, I’m talking to you Duchess) look away now. But for those of you that want to get down and dirty this summer, then make the most of being moister than an oyster and jump straight into bed – sweat and all. There’s something almost animal-like about rolling around on damp sheets, wet salty kisses and your damp thighs clinging to his musky body to make you want him and his pheromones even more. After all, there’s nothing better than a feral fuck.
Strip Poke Her
It’s over 30c outside and it’s midnight. You have the AC on, and the fans, and are lying in bed sweating and sipping cool water. Well take your PJs off! Statistically, couples who sleep naked have a higher chance of having sex (no shit, Sherlock). You turn over to find the cool side of the pillow, they turn over to face you, their hand brushes along your inner thigh, your foot strokes theirs. It’s Game On! Nothing beats the heat of skin-on-skin contact when you least expect it. And you would have to be made of ice not to get a teensy bit turned on knowing there’s a totally starkers body beside yours. So have a slow, hot, midnight shag… and I promise you’ll have no trouble sleeping after that.
Wear Less, Want More
I don’t know about you, but no one feels sexy wearing a long baggy cable-knit sweater and three pairs of socks in the depths of winter, whereas prancing about in fluttery short dresses and vulva-skimming Daisy Dukes can’t fail to get you thinking about sex. It’s true! Just check out how gorgeous you look all sun-kissed and glowing. Your butt-riding, midriff-showing, cleavage-heaving, knicker-skimming, toe-peeping, shoulder-bearing summer wardrobe is constantly reminding you of what you have to offer… and knowing that others are checking out your highlights only adds to the sexual frisson.
Get an Eye-full AND a Hand-full
Summer. The only season when it’s okay to be perpetually horny. Oh come on, you know it’s not just me! What’s a girl meant to think about when all around her hot guys and girls are running around half naked. If, like me, you live next to a beach then even the daily morning school run is a fun-fest of eye candy. From the topless male joggers and sweaty gardeners, to the bike riders and surfers – the streets and shores are awash with biceps and triceps to spare. By the time you get home it’s barely 9am and you’re already thinking about sexy men… so imagine the state you will be in come 6pm when hubby comes home. Skip the dinner and go straight to dessert, I say!
Al Fresco Success-co
Hear me out, no one is asking you to drop your drawers in an alleyway. But the nights are longer and the air is warmer and you are out and about in exotic climes… so why not make the most of the summer scenery and have a bit of al fresco nookie? If you are smart about it, you can make it romantic instead of sordid. Pull your lover to one side during your country walk and have a bit of a roll in the hay, or watch the sun set on the beach and get sand in all the wrong places as the waves lap at your feet. You don’t even have to leave the house if you are nervous about being caught by the copulating cops… just put a duvet down on your balcony and have sex under the stars. In fact it could be quite funny listening to your neighbours trying to figure out where those strange noises are coming from as the night breeze caresses your buttocks and your tits wave to the people on the street below.
Rudey Dudey Juicy Foodie
Juicy ripe melon, melting ice-cream, cocktails and ice cubes. Don’t tell me all that messy, sweet and saucy food isn’t the perfect excuse to get all 9 1/2 weeks on your other half and lick their dinner off their chin. I’ve heard there are all sorts of places you can dribble tutti frutti and hide those ice cubes. Okay, so maybe it’s more messy than horny… but it’s a hell of a lot sexier than watching someone tuck into sausage and mash with extra gravy in front of a roaring fire. Pass me the icy-pop, I’ve had an idea!
The Power of the Shower
Last, but not least, the shower. That little box in the corner of the bathroom that you have been ignoring all winter suddenly comes into its own as soon as the sun comes out. You may well be a candle light and bubble bath kinda girl, but I say romance is for winter and shower sex is for summer. If they can be shagged standing up covered in soap in a tiny glass cubicle in the movies, then Goddamit we WILL try and have shower sex too. Yes, it’s slippery and dangerous and you will probably give up, dry off and go back to the bedroom after a few minutes like normal people do… but at least you tried. Maybe you should have stuck to the unwashed animal sex…
And now I leave you with this. Because as a teen this was everything summer was meant to be. Listen to the lyrics, cringe at the cheesy video and at the naff 90s dancing, and get ready for the summer, summer, summer time – you sexy little minx, you!
