Magic Mike XXL and Other XXX Films for Girls
Ladies, and I use that term lightly, I’ve found my favourite saucy film. You can keep your Mr Grey, you can keep your Chippendales – because Mike is mine. And he’s magical!
Channing Tatum, that guilty boy crush of ours, and his friends were oiling up and flexing their muscles on my TV screen last night and gyrating, thrusting and stripping their little butts off for my selfish pleasure. The perfect girl’s night in! But Magic Mike XXL is not the only film to get my heart a-flutter and other places twitching. In fact I have been very busy (oh the things I will do for my Glass House Girls) putting together my Top 10 Cheeky Films for Women list – perfect for a girly night in and an indecent perv.
Now before I start, please remember that these aren’t the dirtiest, the raciest or the filthiest – in fact some aren’t even R Rated – but you tell me that, after watching these films, you don’t go and jump your man as soon as he gets home. You’re welcome!
1. Dirty Dancing
Oh Swayze and your leather jacket and swiveling hips. This is what teenage fantasies are made of. Johnnie fights for his girl, he makes her a woman AND teaches her how to dance. What more can a girl ask for? After watching this film you will never again let anyone put you in the corner, you won’t be able to go to a swimming pool without practicing that lift and you’ll never carry a watermelon again without telling everyone (and thinking of that sexy sweaty basement dance after). A rite of passage for every Baby.
Two words – Dirk Diggler, the famous well-hung gigolo played my Mark Wahlberg. Oh, I need to tell you more? Okay, there is also Heather Graham on roller skates, Julianne Moore as a porn star and a lot of 70s style shagging. But mainly Wahlbergh (he has a third nipple, did you know that)?
3. Cry Baby
If you have never seen this John Waters classic then go, now, download it or buy it or steal it off someone. It has it all, including a 27 year old Johnny Depp (nuff said) posing as teen bad boy Wade Walker – more leather jackets and motorbikes, yes please! This daft spoof of American 1950’s delinquent films is as hot as it is funny, plus Depp plays the guitar and sings. Swoon! There’s also Ricky Lake playing Wade’s sister and Iggy Pop naked in a tin tub. But really it’s all about Johnny Depp and that kissing scene on the grass with Alison. Well, it was sexy as hell when I was fourteen!
4. 9 1/2 Weeks
I don’t often step into the kitchen, but when I do I prefer to prepare food 9 1/2 Weeks style. Even those who haven’t seen it know what I’m talking about – yep, that naked, food-smearing sex scene. But there’s also stripping and bondage and crazy sex in an alleyway. I’m talking about a pre-op Mickey Rourke and the ever-sexy Kim Basinger getting it on as two strangers who know nothing about each other and have two months of steamy sex and…well… beyond that I’m not sure about the story line. Does it matter?
5. Mr & Mrs Smith
Yeah, it’s a bit cheesy. It’s not high brow. It’s not even that original. But it has two important factors – Brad Pitt looking HOT and the fact that we know every time Brad and Angelina Jolie kiss and get down and dirty they really fancied each other. Because this is the film that made her his bit on the side, and eventually his wife. And the sexual tension is palpable in every scene – sorry Aniston, but you can’t blame the woman. Pitt in a tux wielding a gun and looking at you like that? Yep, we’re spent.
6. The Notebook
It catapulted Ryan Gosling into his Sex God life of stardom… and it’s also the film that gets every girl wet (with tears). It has passion, romance, history, getting together, breaking up and that soppy twist at the end. I still think Ryan looks like a young Rodney Trotter, but I will make an exception for this flick.
7. Black Swan
Not so many sexy guys in this one, but as far as Girl Crushes go you can’t beat Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis and their dark take on the world of ballet and Swan Lake. And that hot sex scene between the two raven-haired beauties. And all that passion, beautiful music, pretty dresses, spectacular dancing. Hell, this film has everything you want for a girl’s night in (except hot naked guys, but you can’t have it all)!
8. Fifty Shades of Grey
Of COURSE it had to make the cut. How could it not? To be honest the book is hotter… but the film is better written. The cast is perfect and the mounting sexual frisson between uber control freak Grey and the innocent yet smart Ana is the perfect carnal combo. Plus it does no harm that he owns his own skyscraper, helicopter and penthouse apartment and likes to give more than he gets. Where do you want me, Christian?
9. Magic Mike
You can’t upgrade to the XXL version without watching the first Magic Mike. Here is the story line – lots of men, they take off their clothes, they dance really well and… errr… I can’t really remember. But Channing is naked in this one too. So it’s on the list.
10. No Strings Attached
It has lots of sex and Ashton Kutcher, but it’s not really that saucy. Mind you, I think it’s pretty bold of that Natalie Portman to get it on with Mila Kunis in Black Swan then move on to Mila’s husband Kutcher in No Strings Attached. Imagine the dinner table conversation between that married couple… they’ve kissed the same woman. Wow. At least you can’t say they don’t have anything in common.
Well that’s my list of my favourite saucy films for women. No shortage of handsome men, leather jackets and pelvis pumping. But still nothing to really rival the abundance of men taking their clothes off that you get in Magic Mike XXL. So, for those of you who want a film full of REAL strippers, then there is always The Full Monty. I know, I know – not many raunchy scenes, sexy bods or hot dance moves BUT you will get plenty of belly laughs.
And let’s face it, that’s the only reason women go to watch men strip anyway!
