Even though he’s a Blithering Idiot…
Poor Jezza. His words, actions and deeds have seen to it that recently, the Law of Attraction has not been so kind. Fair undoubtedly. But not a whole lot of fun. I have always had a penchant for a bit of Jeremy Clarkson. I don’t know why. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I fancy him, although there is something a little Hugh Grantish about those eyes.
I think (and I think I am definitely not alone), I admire his non-conformity, his non-plussedness – yep, I know that’s not even a word. Like a singer who owns the stage, this on the face of it, quite unremarkable looking guy commanded the BBC. He didn’t sing, he wasn’t eye candy, and he sure as hell couldn’t act – did anybody see one of the last (sniff, sniff) Top Gear episodes where he and James May were ‘playing’ Citroen bosses at a Parisian business meeting?
I rest my case. And I put forward my case.
Here are 10 reasons why I love Jeremy Clarkson:
1) He’s a Quick Quipper. Like him or loathe him, there is no getting away from the fact that here is a man who can dish it out as quickly as it’s served up. That’s a skill for life. Even when papped he has a plentiful supply of comebacks lined up the sleeve of his tweed jacket. Good on him, I say!
2) His fan base is full of youngsters. Even my twentysomething cousins (and they’re, like, super cool) not only watched the show religiously on TV, they were also constantly appearing – somewhere – in the actual ‘live’ audience!
3) With Jezza you always know where you stand. He’s refreshingly honest. No sitting on fences. Doesn’t that just make for an easier time all around?
4) The man can write. He isn’t some bit of celebrity stardust with his name emblazoned across a ghostwritten book fooling the general public with all the apparent strings to his bow. Quite the opposite. His books contain his words. Okay, so he started out as a journalist. But his writing is funny and factual. Bill Brysonish in appeal. Almost unputdownable.
5) He is young at heart. Which almost compensates in the health stakes for being such a heavy smoker. He raced cars, competed with his friends, got up to daft pranks and challenges to see who could reach the winning line – often in another country – first. How much fun was that! God, this is sounding like his obituary. It was so much fun that I’d go as far as saying many of his biggest foes were just plain jealous of this gig he’d gotten himself… and the fat paycheck to go with it.
6) He made us laugh at his own expense… although once again, in monetary terms, yep, I can’t deny he got paid a helluva lot of money for doing so.
7) He follows his bliss. This past tense stuff has got too depressing now. I’ll carry on as if nothing’s changed. He may not have his job anymore, but he is still Jezza after all. Anyway. Yes. His bliss. If we all followed our own, we’d be a lot more chilled out about his haphazard (and un-PC remarks). I know, I know, some of them are completely inexcusable. I make no excuses for him. But are any of us really so different in everyday life?
8) He could publicly declare his love of any young starlet… and any wanabee would fall at his feet to rise in overnight ‘stardom’. But I don’t think they’d succeed, despite his 2014 split from his second wife. Because when it does come to his choice of famous women, he opts for the unattainable Goddess that is Kristen Scott Thomas. You can’t say the man doesn’t have class.
9) He sometimes likes Alfa Romeos…
10) He is loyal to his friends. The emotion etched on his face when Richard Hammond was in a critical condition after his whizzing a little too fast around a track in a car, pierced the heart. And in The Guardian’s online article by Gordon Rayner on March 11th, Clarkson, who was reported to have hit Oisin Tymon, a Top Gear producer after a disagreement about dinner arrangements after a day’s filming, had according to his other amigo, James May, been involved in ‘a bit of a dust up.’ Hmm. Slight difference in words there. Maybe with reason?
Look, I was not there. I am not about to take sides. And Lord knows there are two to every story. Jeremy Clarkson could well be guilty as charged, but isn’t it funny how the sensationalist The Sun and The Daily Mirror managed to find headline grabbing eye witness reports… whereas the broadsheets did not.
And furthermore, who is holding the flippin’ editors and the rest of the production crew accountable for some of Jezza’s language that didn’t seem to be deleted from the film reels of past episodes before airing?
Anybody smell a conspiracy?
I’m just sayin’.
