Without Doing Very Much at All
Every time I switch on the news, open up a newspaper or go online there they are… photos upon articles upon video footage of dead people. Bombed houses. Homeless refugees. Abused children. Victims. Every day I feel sick, I feel guilty and I feel angry. These are not emotions that I want to experience any more. So what am I going to do about it?
Nothing, of course. Not a thing. What else am I meant to do?
Just like you I will probably shed a tear, shake my head, tut or maybe even post some futile meme about how I am thinking of all those poor suffering strangers, use a sad emoticon on my friends’ social media posts, then forget about it and go about the rest of my day. Because I can’t save the world, I have no cape or magical powers… and I feel really crap about it.
Then I realised, actually I AM saving the world. Kind of.
In my own small way, every day, I AM making a difference to people’s lives. And so can you. How? Here are 6 simple things that I have done that may have saved a life… and nothing is stopping you from doing the same.
Set up a Facebook Group
This is a pretty benign and not particularly thrilling thing to do, but it can make a huge difference to someone’s life. I should know as I have done it. In fact I have created dozens of groups in the past, and taken part in many others. (What can I say? The life of a writer can be a lonely one!)
I’ve helped people moving to my town from abroad settle in through the power of Facebook and I have introduced them to new friends. I have sent private messages to people looking for help or advice and genuinely made a difference to their lives. I have made some of my own friends through Facebook, friends that I felt closer to in three months than I do to lifelong friends. Facebook is a free and powerful platform and one that I turn to over and over again. I know people with MS and mental health issues that love their support groups on social media – they say that they have someone to turn to at the touch of button, in the palm of their hand.
I once received a message from a woman who had joined a mothering group I set up once ‘If it wasn’t for this group and the friends I have made on it,’ she told me, ‘I don’t think I would have made it past my postnatal depression. This group literally saved my life. Thank you.’ Well you can’t get better than that!
Recycle and Donate
It may seem like nothing, but you putting that plastic bag in the recycling bin instead of leaving it on the beach after your picnic might save the life of a sea creature. That old anorak you hate that you gave to the charity shop is now perhaps the only thing keeping someone warm right now. Maybe without that coat they would have frozen to death? Maybe your coat has made their difficult life that bit easier? See, it really is that easy to make a difference.
Be a Good Friend
‘Love thy neighbour’ is a great saying. Right now my neighbour has bought her son a recorder, so not a lot of love going on here, but by ‘neighbour’ I also mean friend. Because being a good friend can make all the difference in someone’s life. We all have our struggles and sometimes we need an ally, a back up, even if it’s just someone to pick up the kids from school when we are running late or a shoulder to cry on when we are down.
I love my friends. In fact, I’m as loyal and dedicated as anyone can get. I’m a true 2am friend. I pride myself on knowing that my mates can knock on my door at midnight and I am there. Ready to help. And one day I may need them. No questions asked and no judgment. Just someone that cares.
Be a Great Parent
It’s a cliché, but our children ARE the future. Why try and save the lives of children you have never met when your own are right there in front of you, waiting for you to lead the way? If every adult thought that way, and just ensured that their child grew to be a good, moral and kind person, then in theory there would be no crime, no heartache and no terror in this world. It’s a nice thought. I can’t control what some bastard may choose to do in twenty year’s time, but I can do my best to ensure that my child won’t be standing right there beside them letting them get away with it.
Do What You Love
I’m a writer. I write. It’s what I have always loved and I’m lucky enough that I have managed to make it what I do. One thing I truly believe is that if you follow your heart, your instincts and your passions, good things happen. Sometimes I write trivial silly blogs, sometimes it’s corporate boring stuff (let’s face it, I have to make some money somehow) but it’s the serious articles that really make a difference.
Those moments when I write about sex or relationships, or about topics that are taboo and really reach out to people – they are when I know I’m making my small mark on this troubled world. When I see that twelve thousand people have read my article and over one hundred have left a comment; or when they tell me things like ‘thank you, I will show this to my husband… you put into words what I have been trying to say for years’ or they write, ‘wow, I thought I was the only one that felt that way’ – that’s when you know you have touched someone’s life and made them feel less alone.
Being a writer is pretty egotistical and solitary… but your words do and can live forever. And there’s a power in that.
Smile
I’m the first one to admit that I am crap at smiling. A sultry pout? Easy. Resting Bitch Face? Nearly always. Harried expression? Got it down pat. But smiling is not something that I do instinctively – even my wedding photos are pretty sombre. But you’d be amazed just what a huge difference a smile can make. Go and smile at a stranger in the street, to the people serving you in a shop, the mums at the school gates and especially your kids. I’m not saying become the Looney Smiley Woman, but smiles are infectious and they can lift a mood.
Did you know that contrary to belief, the body doesn’t always follow what the brain thinks? Did you know that you can alter your state of mind by what you do with your body?
Try it. Right now smile, then grin, then laugh! Even if you aren’t particularly in a jolly mood, your brain will acknowledge that you are reacting with happiness and it will release the ‘feel good’ hormones that your body craves so much. So smile, and the whole world smiles with you. Frown and no one will talk to you… depends what you want out of the day I guess.
They say charity begins at home, yet many misunderstand that to mean that they have to look out for themselves. It doesn’t mean that. It means look after your community – your own family, your tribe, your people. It’s the ripple effect. The butterflies beating wings that create a huge hurricane.
I’m not Superwoman. I can’t fly over to Greece, buy an island and house tens of thousands of homeless people… but a few of them at least have new shoes to wear thanks to my donations. I can’t stop terrible things happening to innocent children… but I can help my mates out with their children when they need a hand, and I can stop mine from becoming arseholes. I can’t stop wars or suffering or the planet being destroyed… but at least I can hold my head up high and say ‘yep, today I did a good thing and I made someone’s life that little bit easier. I have the power to change things for the better.’
Now imagine if we all did that? What a nicer place this world would be.
