When is a Paedo not a Paedo?
Paedophile is a powerful word; a word that sells newspapers, keeps news channels in business and instills fear into the hearts of children, mothers and men. Yes, that’s right, men – because that word can shatter an innocent life in a racing heart beat, especially where teenage girls and paedophiles are involved. That dreaded P word, in a point of a shaky finger, can turn a man into a monster. And neither truth nor facts have to necessarily follow to make that indelible brand last forever.
Before I crank this up a notch I need to point out the following:
This article is not in defence of paedophiles…sorry, I have to put that there for the stupid people. Believe me, as a mother of two young girls I would be the first in line brandishing a rusty blunt knife ready to hack off the bollocks of any man that so much as looked at my two babies the wrong way. This isn’t about men with incurable and unnatural urges and their sick minds. Never in the history of ever has the abuse of a young child – be it sexual, physical or mental – been acceptable. It is abhorrent and the crime of all crimes, even death isn’t enough of a punishment for them. I hope that is clear enough for you all.
To clarify, this article is about teenage girls who aren’t so innocent. It’s about stupid men and young women that hold a power so strong that even the apparently intelligent can’t resist; a magic that the girls themselves can’t control and easily regret unleashing. This is about consensual sexual relationships, the lure of the taboo and the naivety of parents when it comes to their children wanting to have sex before society deems it acceptable. So if you are feeling your ‘perpetually offended’ heckles rising I would suggest you look away now…but if you want to consider another side of the story, read on. Because there is a little Lolita in every girl.
Sex – the ultimate definition of pleasure and pain. Where there is sex there is trouble, right?
We’ve all had ‘the talk’, whether by our parents (cringe) or school (the basics) and every teenage girl walks away learning that sex is bad. That’s it. Full stop.
They learn that sex leads to two things and two things only…STDs and pregnancy. Oh, and if you do it before 16, and too often, then everyone will also think you are a slut, whore, slag, slapper, trollop and tart.
But what about if you are 15?
And what if your magical 16th birthday is only a few weeks away?
Is the idea of sex less appealing?
What if the boy you fancy is two years older than you and you have a mature mind? Is he a pervert? What if you look 18, sneak out to a bar where there are proper, grown-up men telling you that you are beautiful and want to take you out? And it’s flattering? And you can handle it, think you can handle it, and no one will find out anyway?
What if that 15 year old is smart, mature, uses protection, doesn’t let it affect her school work, doesn’t take any shit from any man and her parents know she is safe? Is it okay then?
Have a think.
Now a question for the men:
Is falling for the charms of a 15 year old girl, who looks and acts older, and telling yourself that you won’t take it any further until she whispers sweet nothings in your ear explaining in lurid detail how she really wants you and just you…then giving in, because you are crazy about her and she is crazy about you – is that the same as raping a baby?
According to the media and the legal system, it is.
Is going out with the boys one night, pulling a sexy girl with a hot body who’s maybe had a bit too much to drink, but hey, so have you, then waking up to discover she’s still in school – is that the same as sexually abusing your tiny five year old daughter every night?
According to the media and the legal system, it is.
If you are a man, and the girl is under 16, you are a sex offender. And it’s your fault and your fault only. But is it? Should all these scenarios be instantly dumped on to the ever-mounting ‘Paedo Pile’?
There have been many cases in the news lately of teachers eloping with students. Let’s take, for example, the case of Mr Forrester the UK maths teacher and his 15 year old student Gemma, eventually caught in 2015 when he whisked her away to France for a dirty weekend.
1. She was infatuated by him, he was flattered and kept away.
2. She went after him, he rang her family in tears saying she was being inappropriate.
3. She wasn’t going to stop, he wasn’t going to risk his job and his family by giving in. And then he did.
But because she was a few days away from her 16th birthday she obviously didn’t know what she was feeling or doing and was brainwashed and abused by him, right?
No.
He was stupid, he should have said no and he shouldn’t have listened to his cock…and now he’s in prison and her mother is cashing in with a book about the whole woeful tale of the predator and the prey. By the way, the girl was apparently the prey, in case you were at all confused.
Did the teacher deserve to be arrested? Too fucking right he did!
He broke the law, he was in a position of authority and he abused that trust, plus he was married (which makes him even more of a bastard). But a sex offender? Errrrr….
And how did the doe-eyed innocent Gemma fair in all of this? Free to go boil another bunny, of course.
Teenage girls are powerful beings. I know, I was one.
There is a force within a woman at that age that is somewhat unstoppable – a heady mix of hormones, a body that will never look better and a realization that men are (regardless of their domineering stance and authoritative position in society) nothing but putty in their hands. That force raging through their pubescent veins is an untamed magic that takes years to garner and control, and when a girl taps into it far too soon – then combines it with the unrelinquishing passion and obsession that only a 15 year old girl can possess – you have trouble. Or more to the point, her object of desire has it. Lots of it.
Therefore her chosen one has to be a smart and strong man to:
1. Recognise who he’s dealing with (oh, but she’s just an innocent young girl, she doesn’t know what she is doing. Until he realises that she does)
2. Say NO. Which won’t be easy, as she also has a plan b, c and d up her sleeve should she not get her own way. Because she’s clever and she knows she has the law on her side, everyone knows the baddie is always the man – he’s the big bad wolf to her Little Red Riding Hood. She will win however it pans out.
One way or another she comes out smiling.
So back to whose fault it is, because we all like a neat ending. That way, when we are busy pointing the fingers at others we don’t have to look at our own misgivings.
Shall we blame…
Society? Should we have less sexuality available for the young and easily influenced?
The bad man who couldn’t keep it in his pants?
Her parents for, shock horror, trusting their baby girl to go out into the big bad world alone?
Or what about the girl? Was she asking for it?
How about…
It’s everyone’s fault?
We have all played a part in making our girls feel a lot older than they are, childhood doesn’t last as long as it used to…whether we like it or not, that’s a fact now. And it will happen again, because the power of a young obsessed femme fatale combined with a stupid reckless penis-listener is a predictable combination.
So it’s time to stop portraying girls having under age yet consensual sex as victims or slags, they are neither. As long as we keep shielding teenagers from the adult decisions they choose to make, and create an inculpable bubble of false innocence around them, the freer they are to keep pursuing their untouchables.
Teenage girls need to be held accountable.
Let them know that sex is fantastic, because it is – it’s not dirty or dangerous – it just (thank goodness) gets better the older you get, so what’s the rush? Give young girls the freedom to talk about how they feel, and give the men the freedom to explain what is happening to them without fear of being branded a perv (even if they are spineless no-hopers that can’t say no). As soon as things are in the open then they are no longer exciting.
And after all, that is all a teen craves – excitement. Because I am yet to meet a teenage girl who will choose the sensible over the dramatic.
