We can only Live our own Lives…
As a (mostly!) natural optimist, one of the trickiest things is staying cheerful around the doom and gloom, complaints and grumbles in family and friends’ lives. As soon as I realised the real way the world works; that our thoughts literally create and script the movie that is our lives, I metamorphosed into everyone’s worst nightmare: The Preaching Fairy Godmother.
Now couple that with already being a chick who raved incessantly about the magical healing power of water and pink Himalayan salt and I think you will get the picture. But just in case you don’t, let me enlighten you. I was The Preaching Fairy Godmother on acid… in overdrive!
I would shower poorly friends with Self-Help books on correcting their thinking to re-programme body and mind. I would strategically place books on Water and Pink Himalayan Salt in the guest bedroom when people with aches and pains came to stay. I would send snippets and quotes to those ‘in need’ on positivity and the power of gratitude. I would distribute parcels of healing crystals and equilibrium bracelets far and wide. And I would clear entire kitchens of food containing processed ingredients and replace them with all things organic, fresh, green and seedy.
When I wasn’t playing Preaching Fairy Godmother like this, I’d be playing Preaching Fairy Godmother like that.
Pulling people up mid-conversation to remind them of the power of their words was my absolute favourite. How I got away without a single slap in the face or giving myself a nervous breakdown from carrying the weight of everyone else’s woes on my shoulders, I will never know. Nowadays I just Sit on Mars.
But not so long ago when my family and friends talked of lack, limitation and anything remotely negative – which let’s face it, for 98% of the population is going to happen in pretty much every sentence… ‘cos that’s the way society has molded us, well-meaning parents have brought us up and many of our teachers have drummed it into us – in I would jump with my magic wand.
– Convincing others that when they said they ‘couldn’t afford’ something, they were quite literally queuing up more things that they couldn’t afford from the Universe such as unexpected bills and parking fines.
– In the same vein, when friends said they looked ‘flabby’ or had the memory of a goldfish, I would butt in to remind them their jeans could never feel any looser with those kind of downbeat comments… and now they were sure to forget something really important later in the day.
– When they got vocal about the driver who pulled out on them during the school run, I’d helpfully remind them that they could now expect more of the same in approximately 24 hours – maybe they’d get lucky and it would just be a supermarket trolley this time, but for sure they’d encounter some kind of incident again since they were ‘putting it out there’ so avidly.
– Then there was the friend who was certain that his new Goodie Two Shoes male colleague was all out to steal his job… I’d remind him that unless he corrected his thinking, imagining what he wanted instead of the worst case scenario, not only would that become his reality, but the charming colleague would also take his stapler and put it in jelly a la Gareth from The Office while he was at it.
– And I simply adored debating the ability of the mind to heal all dis-eases, and the role of placebo. How I loved to quote verbatim from case studies much to the visible annoyance of those at the dinner table whose perception of reality was an entire paradigm shift away from mine.
And on. And on. And on.
Until I realised the major flaw in all of this wand waving malarkey (aside from the fact my own arm was full of aches and flippin’ pains, I was feeling decidedly more parrot than fairy and I was most definitely bringing my own self down).
We can only live our own lives!
How was I going to help anyone by seeing them as less than perfect in the first place? By dishing out my spiritual wisdom – which they may or may not ‘get’, be ready for, or quite frankly need? Slowly I began to realise that my approach was one of desperation. Every one of my family, every one of my friends had their own path to take, their own journey to make. As heartfelt as my unsolicited help may have been, it was just hindering their growth. And that’s why I put down my magic wand.
It’s a bit like the life cycle of the caterpillar. It has to grow, develop those wings on its own, work it all out in its own sweet time. And so the best thing a (mostly) glass half full former Preaching Fairy Godmother can do is quit it. And so I did. And do you want to know what happened?
Well, slowly but surely, people started to come to me:
– Hey, you’ve been drinking 3 litres of water a day for the past few years now. How has that worked for you?
– How much Pink Himalayan Salt should I take every day?
– How do you meditate, Pollyanna? And can you lend me any books?
– So what’s your secret? How’d you turn your life around? How does this Law of Attraction stuff really work?
Yes, my job is me. And your job is you. And any wand waving I hitherto decide to undertake should be for the benefit of my own life. Just as your wand waving should be for yours. Easy peasy. Abracadabra. And we all live happily ever after. Because contrary to our know-it-all egos and inner Preaching Fairy Godmothers, the very best way we can help our loved ones – be they broke, ill, broken-hearted or addicted to a substance – is to simply be happy and trust that all will unfold perfectly. By tending to our own happy vibes first and foremost, we actually have something to give. We can shine a light, be a beacon and help in ways we can barely comprehend.
We all came into this world with our own magic wands after all, we just need to re-kindle our belief in a little fairy tale magic.
