Fat Chance!
Body shaming never goes out of fashion…
Last year, for example, ‘comedienne’ Nicole Arbour made this six minute video where she hates on the overweight to the point that YouTube temporarily suspended her account, something that has never been done to a ‘comedian’ before. So she got what she wanted, she got noticed. Well done, Nicole. Although I think you’ll find Reggie Warrington got there first in his stand up comedy attack against the overweight in the movie ‘The Nutty Professor’… and yeah, that was also quite funny. But not very imaginative and not very kind. But who cares, eh? You got your millions of hits, Nicole, you must feel ever so popular and wanted. And that’s all that matters, right?
Well I’m not here to discuss whether fat people need to develop a tougher skin and learn to laugh at themselves, or whether we should all be proud of whatever shape we are in, regardless of our health. What interests me is why Nicole got so much attention for that video. Why everyone quickly fell into two distinct camps – the Perpetually Offended Brigade and the But It’s Just Common Sense Society.
From Instagram to Closer magazine, from the office water cooler to You Tube… we (women) are laughing at what (other) women look like. Men don’t judge each other’s body shapes or imperfections, so why do we? We spew out the word feminism at every given opportunity whilst still making life harder for our fellow sisters. Nice one, girls… way to go!
“Not all people [of] size are women,” says Rebecca Weinstein, author of ‘Fat Sex: The Naked Truth‘. “However, size, weight, fat, beauty, and the ways in which our culture deals with those issues, are clearly feminist concerns.”
But this concept isn’t new either. Back in 1978 (the year I was born) Susie Orbach wrote ‘Fat is a Feminist Issue‘, a topic that is clearly just as relevant 36 years later as it is today. Being concerned about our own weight and, stranger still, the weight of others is predominantly a female thing, which does nothing but strengthen the misogynist stereotypes of our gender being shallow and self-absorbed.
So before we start discussing whether White Feminism exists and whether the glass ceiling has been smashed yet, why don’t we simply start by BEING FUCKING NICER TO EACH OTHER?!
But sadly, it’s not that easy, because it’s been going on for hundreds of years.
Body Shaming, or more to the point – ‘Belittling Those That Don’t Conform To Our Current Ideals Of Perfection’ – has been happening since time began. Four hundred years ago we had minor criminals locked up in (laughing) stocks so villagers could throw rotten tomatoes at their faces; three hundred years ago we were colonising Australia where Aboriginal people were treated on a par with animals; one hundred and fifty years ago there was Black slavery in America and the abuse of minorities for financial gains, and less than one hundred years ago there were traveling circuses with shows such as The Elephant Man, people with dwarfism and women with beards being paraded about for other (less ‘unfortunate’ people) to gasp, point and laugh at.
Humiliation is, sadly, part of our human history. It’s a depressing fact that pointing out people’s differences, comparing ourselves to others and needing to feel superior is part of the hierarchical society in which we live. A nasty, vicious and unnecessary part of our human nature in a world where we are always being told to be the best and rise above the rest.
Thankfully discriminating against someone’s skin colour, sexual orientation, gender and physical abilities is now illegal. So what’s our outlet? Photos of celebrities letting their guards of perfection down and the overweight. Yay for fatties! Always there when someone needs a quick easy laugh.
Pathetic.
Everybody knows that being overweight it unhealthy. We all know that fruit and veg are good, that burgers and donuts are bad, and that we should all be doing at least 20 minutes exercise a day. Even the morbidly obese know that. So why is it up to us (or Nicole) to tell them? Does a satirical YouTube video have the power to make unfit people suddenly join gyms in their droves? No! It makes them feel upset, attacked and angry for being segregated and being told what they already know and already hate about themselves. Something only they can decide to change. And that’s if they can change, seeing as many a person’s weight is affected by their genes, medical reasons or psychological issues.
I don’t stand by the idea of pandering to people who make victims of themselves, but purposely setting out to be mean to someone makes them feel like shit. Simple. We learn that basic equation in the playground (and by the way, every child should be made to read the humorously didactic vintage book ‘The Fatipuffs and Thinifers‘ about a future where the Fat are pitted against the Thin). Pointing out flaws in others for your own amusement can result in the object of your derision feeling depressed, losing self-esteem, getting desperate and even contemplating suicide. It’s called bullying!
And don’t add insult to injury with your public humiliation of the ‘physically imperfect’ and mask it as concern. Do you really care? Because if you are that concerned about the health of your fellow women then go and volunteer in schools to teach about healthy eating, set up a teen support group for young girls riddled with self doubt or be a fitness coach. No, I didn’t think so. It’s just so much easier to pick up a copy of Now magazine and laugh because Kate Moss has cellulite.
Millions of you no doubt agree with Nicole’s video, and that’s fine, it’s your opinion and she does speak some sense. But as my mother-in-law says, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all“… because negative words have never resulted in anything positive.
Are you one of those women on Instagram sharing meme’s critisizing women’s eyebrow shape (eyebrows for fuck’s sake, eyebrows!!) or sharing photos on Facebook of Jennifer Aniston’s sudden weight gain (all 2lbs of it)? If so, have a little think…
Do you realise that every time you say, ‘Oh my God, look at those thunder thighs!‘ what you are really saying is ‘Shit! I’m so scared of my own thighs getting that big because then I won’t feel superior to others and I will be judged too. If I point at her then less people will look at MY imperfections‘? Do you realise that what we critisize in others are the very same things we fear, and therefore hate, about ourselves the most?
Think about it.
By conforming to society’s current beauty ideals we, as women, are attempting to keep ourselves in the upper echelons of attractiveness. Ultimately our job as women (at its most fundamental and basic animal level) is to attract a mate and procreate. Not consciously, of course, but one way or another every woman competes with her own community to be the Queen Bee. Yet with the combination of the internet (making every user an immediate part of a ginormous worldwide community at the touch of a keyboard) and the idolization of celebrity culture, an immense pressure of physical perfection has been placed on women (by other women) and it’s beginning to implode.
Because unfortunately that’s the natural order of things. Life/God/the universe (whatever you believe) likes balance. When a society leans one way, the public pull in extremes in the other direction. Yin and Yang. Always trying to get back to the middle. So as fast food gets cheaper and easier to attain, and fresh food gets more expensive and time consuming to prepare in our ‘I want it now’ culture – then the fatter people will get. So the scales start to tip back in the other direction with the rise of clean eating, macrobiotic, organic dieters and their gym selfies. These people then feel superior to the ones that are being blamed for strains on the NHS and are having to suffer the self-inflicted humiliation of being winched out of windows because they have grown too big to fit through their front door. And the overweight feel judged and hate themselves more. And the slim resent the overweight for not having to go through the gruel of daily workouts and tasty food denial. And the cycle continues…
Why is HER body shape so important to YOU?
Nicole Arbour’s video is just one tiny drop in an ocean of unnecessary ridicule. Highlighting peoples’ faults does nothing but highlight your own. Who are you to judge?
You, yes you… because we have all guffawed and critisized someone at some point… stop! Stop giving us women a bad name. Stop looking in the mirror and at your bathroom scales and start looking inside of you and beyond. Beyond the perfect HD brows, round arse and flat stomach and think about what you really want to get out of life? Because once you take your focus away from yourself and out into the big wide world, you will see you simply won’t have the time to worry about the state of anyone else’s flab rolls. You will be too busy getting on with life.
So get a life. All of you. A great one – where what you say and what you do makes someone feel really great about themselves. That’s a life worth living… be that person who is beautiful inside and out.
(Note from editor: to buy any of the books mentioned in this article, please click on the book covers below.)
