For Lazy Mums With Impatient Kids
For me, the yearly calendar is divided into two – when I have to do stuff with my children, and when I don’t. Christmas, Easter and Summer Holidays are a flurry of tissue paper and sticky tape, and any time in between us mums are not guilt-tripped into getting creatively involved with the kids the rest of the year.
Which is good news for most… but not me.
I’m pretty hands-on when it comes to getting down and dirty with sticky backed plastic but I’m no smother mother. I would describe myself less of a Helicopter and more of a Drone. You know – I’m there, I can see them… but they can’t see me (even though I’m irritating as hell and really loud).
So here we are, mid-October, and the school is calling for Crafty Mums to get their glue guns out and imaginations in gear because it’s Halloween. Because there are only so many orange and black things the teachers are prepared to make with their pupils that month and the classroom needs more shit to hang in the window. Great.
Now when I say Great I actually mean GREAT! In a non-sarcastic way (for once). Because I effing luuuurve making stuff. Seriously. For years I harboured fantasies of being a Blue Peter presenter and yep, I was one of those weirdo kids that actually sent off for the Fact Sheet (no internet back then) on how to make a Cindy House out of a shoe box. It turned out crap, in case you were wondering… but just the excitement of receiving a thick A4 pack marked BBC was worth the stamped addressed envelope.
The problem is that doing crafts with kids means doing crafts with kids. And that’s the crap part. I’m quite happy to sit with my crafts cupboard (yes, I have an entire cupboard) and stay up until dawn making stuff… but I hate having to actually include the children, because quite frankly they aren’t as good at it as I am.
So, for you lazy mums with impatient kids… this is for you.
5 Halloween Crafts That Won’t Kill You
Here is my tried and tested Making and Creating that you can do with any child, of any age, no matter how creatively challenged they are. And each one takes less than 5 minutes, about the time it takes to down a glass of wine.
1. Egg Carton Spiders
You will need:
Cardboard egg carton
Black paint
Black pipe cleaners
Sticky tape
Googly eyes or white paint/Tipp-Ex
Cut out a section of the egg carton and paint black inside and out. When it has dried you can either paint on white eyes or glue googly eyes. With a pin make a whole in the top, thread some string through the top and tie a knot on the inside. Then inside the egg carton ‘cup’ tape 4 black pipe cleaners on either side (cut in half, approx 10cm) bend into legs.
2. Loo Roll Bats
You will need:
Toilet roll centres
Black paint
Black card and white paper
Sticky tape
Googly eyes or white paint/Tipp-Ex
Paint a loo roll black inside and out. When it has dried you can either paint on white eyes or glue googly eyes. Make a hole in the centre and thread the string through and tie a knot on the inside. Glue on white vampire teeth out of white paper to cover the hole. Use sticky tape to attach the wings cut out of black paper.
3. Alien Squash Faces
You will need:
One big squash
A sharp knife and pen
Pipe cleaners and mini pom-poms
If, like me, you hate getting sticky and messy with pumpkins this time of year then turn to Squash. You get a lot more ‘meat’ out of it and you get to be the original one in the street!
Cut the squash in half and scoop out the seeds (chuck them away)
Carefully cut out the inside and put to one side to use in a soup etc
Stand hollow side down and cut out eyes and mouth like you would with a pumpkin
Make holes at the top and add pipe cleaners that have been twisted around a pencil to make the antennae. Twist the ends over the mini pom-poms to hold in place.
4. Devil Horn Hairband
You will need:
A red Alice band
Red card
Sticky tape
Glitter (optional, glitter is ALWAYS optional)
This is the easiest and laziest Halloween costume accessory ever made (works just as well with black hairbands and card triangles for cat ears).
Cut two horn shapes from red card and cover in glitter… if you are a masochist and love hoovering up glitter for the next three years. Or stick on red diamantes.
Use sticky tape to stick to the hairbands.
That’s it. Told you it was easy…
5. Floating ghosts
You will need:
White balloons
White or transparent fabric
String
Black marker pen
Blow up the balloon and tie a knot. Cut a big piece of white fabric into a square (approx 1m x 1m). Cut a small hole in the centre of the fabric and stick the balloon knot through it. Tie some transparent thread to the knot and hang it up, and when you are happy with the way the fabric hangs, paint big dark round eyes. Woooooh…
This is a lot more effective with helium filled balloons, in which case you cover the balloon with the knot facing down, and use transparent thread so the ghosts look like they are really floating!
Let us know how you get on with all this arting and crafting. And if you are really struggling with these five extremely simple ideas then you are either really daft or really drunk… which describes me and my kids at this time of year too.
Happy Halloween!
