Say Yes… you Never Know where it May Lead you!
I said Yes today. I said Yes to such a huge bloody great big thing that I’m wondering whether I should have maybe given it some thought. But Yes just popped out of my mouth. It’s so easy to say. Look… Yes, yep, okay, yup, yeah, why not, oh go on then.
Yes gets me into trouble sometimes.
‘Shall we bunk off school?’
‘One more drink for the road?’
‘Want to come back to mine?’
But the thing with the word Yes is that it’s always taken me somewhere. Whether good or bad. I wouldn’t say I am easily lead, but I’m certainly easily convinced. With Yes you know that something is about to change, whereas with No you are staying put. Yes is a risk. No is a certainty.
I like Yes.
In four month’s time I will be living in a different country. It will be the fifth time I have emigrated. I was born in the UK, brought up in Spain, when I was seven years old I moved back to my birth country, then in my twenties went to Australia for a year, then back to the UK, then I spent six years raising my young family in Spain and now I’m moving to… The Netherlands.
Crazy. I know. I don’t speak the language and it wasn’t even on my holiday list, yet here I am about to move my whole family over on a whim. Why? Because I said Yes. Again. Because of Yes I have traveled the world, left jobs, changed boyfriends, got married and had my kids. Yes moves you forward and Yes changes you. Yet strangely it’s the ‘change’ part that people struggle with the most.
Well I need change. We all do.
I get bored and restless and fidgety as soon as my life starts to plod. For most people the idea of buying a ‘forever home’ fills them with a sense of joy and comfort, they know the direction in which their life is heading and they know where they will be in twenty year’s time. If you were to tell me that I would be living in the same house doing the same job and going to the same places in twenty year’s time I would probably run away. I have no idea why I am like this. Some people think it’s a sense of dissatisfaction with my life, but actually it’s the reverse… I love my life but more than that I love living. I love the thrill of the unknown. It’s a matter of ‘righto, I know what this feels like now – so what’s next?’
People forget that the world is a big magical place just sitting there waiting for people to make the most of it. Most of us have the freedom and opportunity to try new things, step out of our comfort zones, reinvent ourselves and taste the unknown… so why don’t we? Why do we stay with what we know, play safe and say No?
Because of fear.
People fear the unknown. They lack confidence in their ability to be able to manage a situation that they haven’t faced before. They also fear their lack of control, that something bigger than them may take their life and spin it faster than they have ever been spun before. Maybe so fast that they don’t have the ability to stop. Well let me tell you that no matter how fast life spins away from you, you can always stop it. And it’s that knowledge that makes me keep moving forward.
Don’t get me wrong – saying No is fine. You will stay the same. Things won’t change, and chances are you won’t change either. For some there is a comfort in that… but for me, I see that as a waste of a perfectly good life.
Life is about adapting, changing, reinventing yourself and evolving. It’s about learning from your mistakes and embracing an uncertain future. After all, where’s the fun in knowing what life has in store for you?
Change is more than important, it’s necessary. And it’s something that should be accepted, whether it be having to change jobs, move house, the transition from being childless to becoming a mother or maybe, simply stepping away from 30 and stumbling into 40. Yes it’s scary as hell, but you’ll be fine.
Don’t see it as letting go of what you had – see it as getting to try something you haven’t done yet.
Change takes you to the next stage of your life; it opens up opportunities; it opens your mind; it gives you confidence and ultimately it changes YOU.
How often has someone you haven’t seen in in a long time exclaimed ‘Oh my God, you’ve really changed!‘
Have you felt sad and insulted? Affronted and confused?
Don’t! When people say that to me I smile, because in all honesty of course I’ve changed. Everyone changes. How can you go from being a teenager to a student to a young working woman to a mother and STAY THE SAME? Time and experiences make us look difference, sound different, dress, speak and even think differently. It would be a sad state of affairs if, at the grand old age of thirty-seven, I was still walking about in crop tops and mini skirts listening to New Kids On The Block and crushing on my art teacher.
I’m a writer so, unimaginatively, I see my life as a book. I love a new notebook. The white glare of the blank pages, the crack of the spine as you open it for the first time, the endless possibilities of turning that plain boring notebook (that is like every other one in the shop) and watching it morph into what may well be the best novel ever written. One that will stand the test of time.
Well you are that book and your life is hidden among those pages. It is your choice what goes on those pages, you get to decide your fate by simply deciding between Yes and No. Do you stay as you are, or do you take the road less traveled?
On your deathbed, how will your story go?
Will it be a simple tale where nothing very exciting happens, or will it be a roller coaster of a blockbuster bursting with twists and unforeseen turns, excitement and passion, love found and love lost, mistakes made and battles fought, new lands conquered and a hero that grows with every page that turns. You are that hero, you get to tell your story and you get to change and grow with every chapter.
I know what story I’m choosing. I’m choosing the one where I say Yes. I’m choosing a new adventure abroad.
