The Glass House Girls Take on the Judges.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. An over-excited audience who really need to get out more, fake tan by the Blackpool bucket and spade load, sequins, Tess in all her statuesque beauty, Claud with her bangs and unfathomable kookiness. It can only mean one thing: Strictly O’clock! But it’s time to move over Craig and your botox, Darcy and your picture perfect posture, Bruno and your silliness and you, yes even you Headmaster Goodman. ‘Cos we’re all ready to rock n roll, jive and foxtrot here at The Glass House too. And this panel of unforgiving judges brings a whole new perspective on what it takes to be a winner…
Personally, I am still a little sad we’re carrying on without Brucie – sob, sob, dismayed at the Beeb for dismissing James Jordan and his fabulous quips and unsurprised at the annual convention to tick all of the ‘politically correct’ boxes; particularly with the quintessential BBC news and EastEnders contingents in tow… But the show must go on. So without further ado, let’s take a not-so-sneaky-peek at this years’ celebrity and professional dancer pairings. The Duchess (former Disco Dancing Champion… oh yeah!), Lady Lolita (professional grader of good looking men) and I (ummm… two left feet… but remarkably mum to two under eight year olds with moves that rival Jagger) give our odds on who will prance off into the sunset with that much coveted glitter ball.
In no particular order:
Carol Kirkwood and Pasha Kovalev
I lied. I am starting off with Carol as although it is (sigh) ever-so-slightly predictable that we have yet another member of the Bright and Breezy BBC Morning Gang forming this year’s 12 strong celeb list, Carol is my favourite. Anybody who manages to keep that smile going through the kind of forecasts this lady has had to relay to the nation over the course of the four seasons is the epitome of showbiz. And as 2015’s oldest female contestant – who is hardly reaching for her zimmer frame – it’s going to be wonderful to see her holding her own alongside the younger females. Dancing with last year’s winner Pasha is going to give Carol a BIG tailwind in the confidence stakes too.
Jay McGuiness and Aliona Vilani
Well, Strictly wouldn’t be Strictly without the token boy band member in tow. And whilst I am pretty sure Jay floats Lady Lolita’s boat, I have to say the first time I saw him beam into my living room with his sheepishly shy grin I thought 3 things: 1) Never heard of his band. 2) That’s too endearing not to have been rehearsed for phone line sympathy when it comes to a potential dance off. 3) The naughty side of me (wait… it’s NOT what you think) would LOVE to snip that bun off his head when he’s asleep. Sorry Jay. Then again I guess the prima ballerina look could score him some brownie points with Darcey. Having attended the Charlotte Hamilton School of Dance he is blatantly going to be one of the bookies’ favourites. Not only that, but Aliona herself is also a former runner up (with Matt Baker in 2010). Which is precisely why I shall not be backing the former popstar. He has enough luck of the Irish… plus cheer leading style chants from his string of former and current model girlfriends (and now Lady Lolita) on his side!
Jamelia and Tristan MacManus
The spirit and can-do attitude of Jamelia are such an empowering thing. Here we have a true Glass House Girl if ever we saw one. Add to that all of the singing sensation’s music video experience and this lady is one powerhouse of a contestant. We back her. Of course we do. But her success is a given! However… Tristan is still a relative newcomer… So will his first full-time stint on Strictly UK get the better of him? Hardly likely. Tristan was a fully fledged member of the U.S show Dancing With The Stars for a number of years on the (fox)trot, swaying with A-Listers such as Gladys Knight and Pamela Anderson. Like Lady Lolita who is a keen Jamelia fan, I also predict this couple are going to take us to dizzying new dancing heights…
Iwan Thomas and Ola Jordan
It’s all too easy to assume the athlete’s endurance, discipline and fitness will translate to picture postcard grooves in the ballroom. But we all know by now that’s not always so. Think Victoria Pendleton and her wooden moves (sorry Queen Vic). And then there was Linford Christie who infamously turned his invite to appear on the show down… Probably all too aware of the hurdles! Firstly, Iwan will have to distract himself from Ola’s ravishing beauty. No mean feat for any man. Secondly, grace, poise and the innate ability to flow with rhythm cannot be learned in 44.36 seconds. So this is going to be one interesting race to the final. We’d love for Iwan to surprise us and sprint past our expectations.
Georgia May Foote and Giovanni Pernice
Here we go again. The stunning, young, only just in her 20s actress and the Italian Pocket Stallion. Haven’t we been here before? Ah yes, Vincent and Louisa. Vincent and Dani. Vincent and Natalie. Vincent and Rachel (no, not an actress, but gorgeous and pint-sized). Vincent and fill in the blank. Height and age wise, this brand new dynamic duo may be a force to be reckoned with when it comes to the salsa, but isn’t this a little Strictly Come Deja-Vu? A) Strictly purists will agree, there is only one Vincent and attempting to recreate him will never work. Giovanni would be better off coming across as his own unique person. Before anybody begs to differ did you see the cheesy wink and grin combo as he ‘suavely’ littered the imaginary casino floor with playing cards like some kind of sophisticated gent in Monte Carlo as part of his intro to the show? Disclaimer – don’t watch it again unless you have to. And B) Mix it up a little Strictly choreographers! Yes. This is dance. But it is also Saturday night prime time entertainment. Giovanni and the willowy Katie Derham. Giovanni and the self-assured Jamelia. Giovanni and the athletic and lofty Kirsty Gallacher. All three women equally as beautiful as Georgia in their own unique ways in the eye candy stakes, and the partnerships would have been a lot more risque and fun to watch as they danced it out…
Anthony Ogogo and Otlile Mabuse
Otlile: Lady Lolita is not too amused. For in her eyes you have bagged yourself 2015’s hottest male celebrity, boxing sensation Anthony Ogogo. But enough of the green-eyed monster that is LL and back to business. Will he be a knockout? Just like his preparation for a match it all comes down to focus, fearlessness and strength. Paired with the formidable and stunning South African pro, Otlile, he may just have found his match. The 8 times Latin American champion has also recently appeared in the German version of Strictly Come Dancing meaning she has had plenty of practice this year!
Kellie Bright and Kevin Clifton
I used to love watching Kellie in The Upper Hand when I was a kid! And now here she is gracing the dance floor like a young Honor Blackman (her co-star of the 80s sitcom). Of course she’s better known to most of the nation as Queen Vic’s Linda from EastEnders. But the doom and gloom of the square mask a potential prancing sensation as Kellie trained at the Sylvia Young Theatre School. Just like past contestant Denise Van Outen… who was runner-up in 2012. Yes, Kellie may very well have The Upper Hand. And her pairing with recent newly-wed professional ‘Kevin from Grimsby’ (to dance colleague, Karen) could prove to be a very East End ‘knees-up’. The cheeky chappy’s choreography will have been buffed up like a pair of tap shoes, and polished to within an inch of its life for his first dance with his wife over the summer, making these two Ks a razor sharp threat to every other couple in their vicinity!
Jeremy Vine and Karen Clifton
You know what would have been REALLY entertaining, Strictly? Bringing on the saga of the siblings and also giving up a spot on stage for Jeremy’s hilarious comedian brother, Tim. Want to sit Miss Pollyanna in on your committee decision making for next season? C’mon! We need a little more fun and games on a Saturday night… But oh. Okay then. We’ll see what Jeremy has to offer. Maybe he’ll surprise us a la John Sergeant and Ann Widdecombe? Maybe, just maybe, he really can dance? Whatever Jezza’s shape, one thing’s for sure, Karen will put him through his paces and present us with the very best as she always does. Going from one extreme to the other having beem partnered with The Man with the Moves, Nicky Byrne in 2012… and the not-so-flexible Hairy Biker, Dave in 2014, Karen will be hungry for Strictly success in 2015!
Kirsty Gallacher and Brendan Cole
Brendan always gets the pretty ones. And 2015 is no exception. But just as we wonder about Iwan, will Kirsty’s stamina and dedication be enough? This is going to be another fascinating ‘journey’ to watch, not least because it’s been 12 long years now since he paso dobled out of the BBC studios with Natasha and the glitter ball… So maybe 2015 is (and I won’t call him veteran as he simply doesn’t age) Brendan and Kirsty’s time to shine in the limelight? Without his comedy sidekick James Jordan to ‘lead him astray’ perhaps Strictly’s former ‘Bad Boy’ will be flavour of the season with the judges scoring that first Perfect 10? We love Brendan’s style so we certainly hope so!
Peter Andre and Janette Manrara
All I can say is we must secretly have something of a soft spot for Pete who has had not one but two articles penned about him at The Glass House! But The Duchess makes NO secret of her penchant for a little of Sweet Pete. And whichever side of the fence you sit on when it comes to the Ozzie Brit and his string of reality TV show appearances, you have to concede: he’s successful, has longevity and looks more 22 than 42. Yes, where Pete goes magic effortlessly seems to flow. But will that follow him onto the dance floor? All three of us judges give a resounding YES and envisage him at the very least making it to the quarter finals. Just please Pete, please: no hair-gel-brained ideas to go releasing Mysterious Girl. Not in 2015. Not ever.
Anita Rani and Gleb Savchenko
Unassuming and a self-confessed Tomboy, I just LOVE Anita. What you see is what you get. And if her dancing style is anything like her TV presenting, we’ll been in for a treat with some proper reality TV. For Anita has to be one of the most personable and ‘real’ celebs in this year’s line up. The kind of girl you’d be just as likely to have over for coffee and cake or invite on a pub crawl. No airs and graces, she definitely said it as it was when she discovered her professional partner was… drum roll… heart racing new boy, Gleb. In fact it was a wonder she even found the words… as it was written all over her face. Whilst his she couldn’t even bring herself to look at! How the heck will she conquer that in training? Lady Lolita: you need to give her some tips… Something tells me there will be no middle road with Anita. She’ll either be shockingly bad… or awesome. Fingers crossed it’s the latter!
Ainsley Harriott and Natalie Lowe
I am sorry Ainsley. Truly I am. But you ever-so-slightly grate on me. I think it was the look-at-me jiggle when you were waiting to be introduced to dance partner, Natalie. But then again, no. You’re like that all of the time on Ready Steady Cook. Which is why I don’t watch it! So, I am actually really rather looking forward to seeing you get into character and dance… forgetting about who is watching you and showing off. Be in the moment. Feel the music rather than pretending you are sprinkling pepper over a lasagna with all of those weird hand movements. You’re not in a Bollywood movie. And no other dance is going to showcase this more than the Argentinian Tango. But I am already covering my eyes at all of your potential cape flicking in the Pasa. Just. Don’t! My advice to Ainsley: simmer down and remember that the best dishes are slow cooked! Natalie is an amazing dancer and deserves to get a step closer to that glitter ball.
Helen George and Aljaz Skorjanec
The softly spoken Call The Midwife actress is definitely going to be a hot contender having also trained in musical theatre. Anybody think a couple of the contestants this year have a slightly unfair advantage? Hmm? But one thing is for sure, former winner Aljaz will be hoping to recreate his 2013 success with Helen… As an actress I know little about (other than catching a couple of the hit BBC drama episodes in which she stars), this female will undeniably find it easier than most to put on a feisty performance; lights, camera and action coming very much as second nature. Although the live aspect of Strictly will certainly test Helen’s skills to the max… if she can deliver a baby…
Daniel O’Donnell and Kristina Rihanoff
The nation’s consensus is that this is a ‘playing it safe pairing’. And we say it’s Strictly none of our business what goes on on the Strictly set… although we would advise all celebs prior to their nuptials to insert something into their vows along the lines of ‘though shalt not go on Strictly and be dance partner with Kristina Rihanoff… y’know just in case like…‘ But enough of the gossip and back to the dancing. PS. It does actually take two people to tango… Daniel, whom I know embarrassingly little about in terms of his music (just not my era), impresses me for two reasons: His love of Tenerife and the annual ‘Tea Party’ he holds for his fans. And for me, that’s enough. Anybody who does both of these things is thoroughly nice, probably adequate at Latin based dances and proper enough that they can sufficiently swirl a lady around the ballroom in a Viennese Waltz. These kind of skills should take him far in the competition.
And last but by no means least:
Katie Derham and Anton Du Beke
And we really are saving another of the best for last. How the great British public love their Anton; The Gent of Strictly, who bizarrely like Brendan only seems to get younger with time. But this MUST be his year! How patient he has been. How he has gritted his teeth like the true showbiz professional he is as Bruno and pals dished their dirty laundry like comments out at himself and Ann Widdecombe, Nancy Dell’Olio and Judy Murray. Could Katie be The One? Could Katie break the spell? Could she lift the curse? Let’s look at her credentials: At 27 she was the youngest newscaster on British national television since the creation of ITN in 1955. So she’s used to firsts. And she became the main female presenter of ITV News at 1:30 in 2004. So she’s used to being star of the show. Nowadays, among her various briefs, her love of the arts sees her fronting the BBC’s coverage of the Proms. Should come in handy for all of those ballroom twirls… We’re going to be watching with baited breath to see What Katy Did Next.
So what do you think? Who is going to swipe the prize and saunter off into the sunset this year? Are you best pleased with the pairings? And would you like to see something slightly less conventional than the usual suspect celebrities? Share your Strictly views with us and let’s all get Strictly excited anyway as our Saturday nights get sequined and salsa-fied once again.
Yippee for Strictly!
