By The Duchess, 31st December 2015

New Year’s Eve Let Down

How to Avoid the Inevitable Anti Climax of New Year's Eve!

How to Avoid the Inevitable Anti Climax of New Year’s Eve!

Oh Lord above, it’s here again. The dreaded night that we hype up for 364 days then when the actual night comes it is a complete and utter anti-climax!
New Year’s Eve.

Why the hell do we bother? All the expense we go through to buy a new outfit, get our hair done, get our nails done… The extortionate price of drinks at each and every bar in the entire world. Or worse yet, the stress of getting the house ready for the onslaught of people that will descend, drink themselves into a stupor then throw up on your porch steps as they leave.

According to The Times – a “miserable 10 million Britons say New Year’s Eve is the ‘most depressing ‘ night of the year” – with most of us crawling into bed before 10:38pm.

So here is what New Year’s Eve really looks like for the majority of people that will be reading this article. If you are one of the lucky few who will be celebrating in style – I bow my head in adoration of you – for the rest of you, take a read and feel a little comfort that you are not alone in the world.

18-25 year olds.
The majority of you will have spent at least £100 on your chosen outfit for the evening. Possibly a further £80 on hair and nails and will likely take out at least a further £200 to flush down the toilet on alcohol. And yes I really do mean flush down the loo. Think about it while you are praying to the porcelain queen the next morning, wondering just how many hours you worked for the money that you are now flushing away!
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25-35 year old (single/unmarried)
See above, but add pacing around the nightclubs watching other people desperately clawing at each other and hoping to find that perfect Prince to kiss at midnight. You watch people getting stupidly drunk and forgetting said Prince’s name then waking up on the first day of a New Year still single, hungover and wishing to God you had stayed at home with a duvet and a good film. If you are however in a relationship but UN-married… you will be hounded by questions all night like ‘do you think he will pop the question at midnight?!‘ Good luck with that one!

25-35 year olds (married/without children) 
You already know that you don’t really want to visit the same nightclubs that will see you battling with underage teenagers at the bar and over dressed Kardashian wannabes in the toilets! Most likely out with your friends or family for the evening, a nice dinner or drinks maybe? But far from the civilised outing you want, you are likely to be battling the never ending intrusive questions such as ‘will you be starting a family in 2016?‘ Give me strength!

23-35 year olds (married/relationship/with children)
God help you. What is New Year’s Eve again? When was the last time you celebrated it? Oh yeah… before you had children. You see, most people forget that once you have mini humans they suck on your free time like its their favourite lollipop! Unless you have Grandparents that are willing to babysit, the likelihood is that you begrudge paying the extortionate price of babysitters for just a few hours on the one night of the year that is always a let down anyway. So more often than not you put the kids to bed then sit on the couch clock-watching until midnight where you can say cheers to the New Year. You then watch all the drunkards in Times Square/by the River Thames/Edinburgh as they fight for their 5 seconds of fame on TV, wondering how they can get so excited about it. Finally you switch off the box and go to bed at precisely 12:15am. Unless of course you have done that a few years running now and decided ‘to hell with it – shall we just go to bed’ at 10:38am like The Times predict most of us will do anyway. Happy bloody New Year.

35 years old +
This is when New Years Eve gets FUN again. Your kids are old enough now to stay up until midnight, you have resigned yourself to the fact that nightclubs are just small enclosed spaces full of drunken idiots spilling overpriced drinks all over already sticky and smelly floors, and you now embrace the ‘staying at home’ thing. But in a much more civilised way!
As soon as you hit that wonderful age where you start not actually giving a f**k about these ridiculous enforced social events, you can actually start to enjoy them. You can plan a proper party at home with your closest friends and bring in the New Year with those people you actually WANT to see the New Year in with. Good food, good drinks, cocktails and proper Champagne, none of that cheap nasty bubble crap they fob you off with at midnight in the nasty bars in town. You can say cheers with crystal Champagne flutes and not plastic cups – then eat nice nibbles and not nasty kebabs.

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New Year’s Eve is suddenly fun again. And the best bit: by now you know your limits. So you know when to stop drinking so that you can wake up in the morning on the 1st of January and start your year in a positive way with a smile on your face and laughing at the poor sods that spend the day searching for their money in last night’s alcohol remnants.

So… What will you be doing this New Year’s Eve? Be honest. Why not take a different tact this year? See out 2015 in the same way you want to welcome in 2016… with positivity and a smile on your face. (Look at me being all positive. Miss Pollyanna will be proud!)

So after all that, here are my tops tips on how to welcome in the New Year the Glass House Girls’ way!

1: Buy a bottle of expensive Champagne

Even if it’s just ONE bottle. You can afford it, if you are going to spend £200 on drink in one night, spend it well! You won’t regret it. If 2015 has not been kind… usher it off with the attitude it deserves ‘you have not broken me’. If 2015 was kind to you… thank it! ‘This year was great, so let’s make the next year better.’

2: Buy Good Food.

Start the way you mean to go on. With a full stomach and a smile on your face. Buy some nice cakes and some quality nibbles. The only things you need in life are food, drinks and family. So surround yourself with them as the year disappears and ensure you are surrounded by them again as you welcome in the next.

3: Select a good sound track.
Play music that made you smile over the last year. Songs that conjure up good memories. Use music as a way to remember what you have achieved and what you accomplished. That wedding song that you saw a friend dance to, the song that was playing when you had your baby or met your boyfriend. Music is the soundtrack to life. Dance your way into the next year with good memories of the previous year.

4: Know your limits.
Drinking cheers

Make a promise to yourself that you will remember this night. Realise when you are at the ‘happy drunk’ stage and stop. Wake up refreshed with a smile and memories that last. And finally…

5: Take Pictures.

As many as you can. Of everyone. Next year when you throw the same party, print the pictures and make a centrepiece of them, of all the memories of last year and the friends/family you shared it with. Make it a tradition to remember this night and not waste it.

Don’t be one of the 10 million Brits that regret New Year’s Eve, be one of The Glass House Girls – see the New Year in the only way it deserves to be seen in. With a big bright smile and a ‘twos up’ to the miserable sods of the world!

Happy New Year to you all… from all of us here at The Glass House. 


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