Does Every Mum Suffer?
I am a first-time mom who has been on maternity leave for the past year. Lucky for me, I live in a country which allows for moms or dads to go on parental leave for up to two years. Different variables and conditions apply when making your choice. We decided on the one-year maternity leave option. But the time has come and I am heading back to work. YIKES!
I have never been a working mom so this is all very new to me. I suffer from anxiety and I am already becoming extremely anxious when I think about returning to work and the guilt I will feel when leaving my little one.
Lots of mixed emotions.
It feels like finally, I am getting the hang of mommyhood, yet leaving it all behind to head back to work.
I am not worried about getting up early, I’ve had enough practice over the last year. Neither am I worried about whether he will be safe and happy. We have that covered.
Dressing up in nice clothes and heels? I can hardly imagine it but not wearing jogging pants or smelling like milk would make a nice change.
The feeling of leaving my little precious boy whom I have been with every single moment of every day since he entered this world is heart-wrenching. I know these feelings will likely subside as I ease back into work mode but I wonder how other mothers cope when returning to work after only a month or two!
Questions, Questions, Questions
Is it easier when you have been at home for a short amount of time? Or is the transition into work after maternity leave easier when you know your child is walking, talking, and has a good feeding routine going?
Will the guilt fade after a while, or do you end up managing it better?
Hopefully, my son’s independent and adaptable nature will help smooth the transition.
On The Other Hand, I Feel A Sense of Excitement
Yes, this may sound contradictory to everything I have just said, but as I said earlier, I am feeling a lot of mixed emotions. My thoughts and feelings are here, there, everywhere!
My return to work after maternity leave brings me to a new job (although the same place of work). I am excited because I am returning to work, in a new role that will offer plenty of opportunities to learn about an area of the institution I had not previously worked with or in. The challenges are fantastic as they keep me motivated and somewhere inside me, I crave the sense of self-worth I get from working. I love the thrill of solving work-related problems and getting the job done.
I am looking forward to not being classified as “just a mom” but as a well-rounded person. I hope not to be judged and people will see that loving my job doesn’t make me any less of a mom.
But even having said all that, I would give up anything and everything for my son – so are these feelings right or wrong?
One thing I am happy about is that I return to work mid-week my first week back. It will be a one-half day and two full days of work as opposed to a full week. Thankfully it should be less of a shock for me.
I feel like the separation will be harder for me than for him. I can only hope I am not an absolute wreck. I worry I will be missing out on so much.
But one quote I love is helping me see things differently:
“I think every working mom probably feels the same thing: You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘This is impossible — oh, this is impossible.’ And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.” – Tina Fey
Help Me Out Here!
What did you do to ease back into work after maternity leave? Does anyone else find it very difficult or easier than what you originally thought?
(This article first appeared in its original form on A Busy Bees Life)
